This Strange Journey

by Elouise


Events I didn’t expect
No end in sight save each passing day
Restless nights invite anxious tears

Looking for something –
A sign that all will be or end well?
The reason I’m still here, not elsewhere?

My mind races
Tries to figure out
What can’t be figured

What can I rely on one day to the next?
Where is this raft going?
When will I arrive?

I don’t know what to say.

My familiar world vanished –
I sit and wait in doctors’ offices
So many of us are here

Strangers to ourselves and others
Puzzles to decipher and put back together
Clueless about the meaning of it all

Perhaps the meaning is already present –
Like Easter eggs hidden in the garden
Works of art floating in clouds
Ripples spreading across a pond
Silent voices in the night sky
Children’s laughter and tears
Music and poetry that move me
Stories that touch my heart
The look on your face
Whispers from God
Connections –

Why am I here?

I don’t want a philosophical or theological explanation
I want to know who I’m meant to be
In this half-life slowdown
Draining my energy
Each day

In the meantime, I’m here. Available. Listening. To my life and to yours as you graciously share them with me.

This year several old and new friends who read this blog contacted me. I’m grateful, though not yet sure what to make of it. In the meantime, I’m happily available and ready to listen and respond as I’m able.

Thanks for listening.


© Elouise Renich Fraser, 4 October 2016
Photo found at