Living with loss
It’s always in my face
until it isn’t anymore
With a smirk and a sigh
energy slides to the floor
of my waning ambitions
Time races by
without much effort
as I sit watching birds
and freezing rain
drift through the air
It’s time for lavender crocus
to push their sweet petals
through layers of packed snow
now coating the back yard
like a fake movie set
I sit at the kitchen table
reluctant to move
taking in the calm of
a day just begun
despite my growing lassitude
I must admit to a case of weariness. Physical, mental, emotional weariness.
I don’t mind messes. In fact, I’m challenged by them. I used to enjoy sorting things out into neat piles. Not for my own pleasure, but because things go better when they’re arranged in a sensible way. So we know who’s who and where things are and how to access truth.
We seem to have less sense than usual about us these days. Not as individuals, but as citizens of these weary, mostly disunited states. It isn’t too much to say we’re in a hunkered down war-like posture. We’ve been there for decades, growing wearier by the day.
No one has declared open warfare, though we’ve come close. On a regular day, those who feel the heat most often are our best barometers. Women, children, the unemployed, prisoners, immigrants, and sometimes anyone who lingers too long to watch the sunset.
It feels as though our government has become the new war zone that guarantees we’ll not cross over to the ‘enemy.’
And yet, for this and much more, Jesus of Nazareth turned his face toward his enemies and toward death. One wearying day after another.
I pray we’ll find reason to hope not in ourselves, but in a power greater than we are. Even though it means learning to die.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 6 March 2021
Photo found at gardeningknowhow.com
Dear Elouise, Thank you for these words, which I am reading just after having recorded the service for tomorrow. Amazing Grace – Unlikely Friends is the sermon title for this communion Sunday…I trust that it will speak into your life. It’s been speaking into mine. With gratitude and hope, because of Jesus…
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I look forward to the sermon. Thanks, Debbie. 💜💕
You hit the nail on the head as to the temperature of our days now, mine too due to health issues. I love the reference to Jesus turning face toward death on a daily bases. I sense that more and more. I have pretty much stopped watching the news because I cannot change one thing except my attitude toward the ever ever coming issues. I don’t seem to even have the energy to talk bout the issues…it all drains me and makes me long for my eternal home. Thanks for the thoughts.
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You’re welcome, Betty. I appreciate your comment. Yes, it would be a wonderful burden to lay down–the constant talk about issues. It’s interesting that Jesus turned his face toward death from the very beginning, and along the way managed to point out many issues of his day. Which are, in some way, also our issues. I hear your weariness, and pray you’ll find rest as you watch and wait.