Going to Seminary | Part 6
Why write about this now? Because the issue raised by my professor didn’t go away. To his credit, he raised an important issue. Pornography. Yet even if there had been only men Read the rest of this entry »
Telling the Truth
connecting the dots of my life
Category: Marriage
December 8, 2015
Going to Seminary | Part 5
~~~~~Colorado Boulevard in Pasadena, California in the early 1970s
Fall 1973. Every now and then I become aware of something I’m lugging around, unopened and unexamined. It has something to do with my childhood and teenage years. Something about Read the rest of this entry »
December 2, 2015
Going to Seminary | Part 4
Fuller Seminary’s Slessor Hall Residents in 1959;
Meeting place for our women’s support group in 1973.
It’s fall 1973. I’ve arrived at a propitious moment! The women’s movement is alive and well. Women are enrolling in seminary programs, many in the professional Master of Divinity (MDiv) program. Read the rest of this entry »
December 2, 2015
Joy and Delight | Photos
How’s this for a bit of color? On my birthday D and I hiked in the Longwood Gardens Meadow and visited the annual Chrysanthemum Festival in the Conservatory at Longwood Gardens.
The top photo shows Read the rest of this entry »
December 1, 2015
Going to Seminary | Part 3
Fuller Seminary Student ID Photo, Fall 1973
It’s fall term, 1973. I look calm and reasonably mature. Inside, I’m a boiling cauldron of fear and anxiety.
I don’t belong here!
I’m too old.
I’m the mother of two young children.
Don’t ask me why I decided to come to seminary.
I don’t have an answer.
I feel apologetic about taking up anyone’s time. Read the rest of this entry »
November 25, 2015
Let’s go see the meadow! | Photos
~~~My favorite! A Longwood Meadow bird house hat in late autumn finery.
Is Longwood Gardens addictive? Maybe. No matter. It’s a healthy addiction! Especially on a chilly, breezy, bright sunny day that just happened to be my birthday. Here’s a tiny peek at what we saw Read the rest of this entry »
November 24, 2015
Going to Seminary | Part 2
~~~Women students, staff and faculty at Fuller Seminary through the years
I thought it would be easy to move into my new Going to Seminary series. But it isn’t. Why? I think because this wasn’t an easy or seamless transition in my life.
Compared with getting married, this felt like an earthquake. A seismic shift. I didn’t understand this back then. Today I understand at least the following.
Being a Faculty Wife was a fairly low-profile role. Even though people were suspicious about women with minds and lives of their own, they were still courteous and polite to women who ‘knew their place.’
As long as I kept my head down, took care of our children and showed up at the Bible College to contribute my musical skills and presence, things went smoothly enough.
Nonetheless, sometimes I felt lost and misunderstood. Especially when I described to friends how I felt about not-so-public parts of my life. It seems I didn’t fit the pattern.
But then again, I never did fit the pattern. My father knew this and did his best to change me.
My family upbringing prepared me to survive and even flourish in the Deep South 1960s culture of the Bible College. It was all about being a proper lady, whether as a student or later as a Faculty Wife. I knew how to play the game and succeed, at least on the outside.
Now it’s 1973 and I’m on my way to seminary in California. I don’t have the home team advantage, and the seminary doesn’t have second-class expectations for women. When it comes to academic work, I have to pull my own weight.
When I take a course, D won’t take it for me. He won’t write or edit my papers. He won’t think for me.
This is a seismic shift, though I didn’t appreciate that back then. Gone is the world that groomed me to marry a good Christian man and follow him to the ends of the earth, bearing all the children he might want to beget.
Now I must stand on my own two feet and do my full share of caring for the children, cooking, and housecleaning. I must earn my own grades, write my own papers, make my own oral presentations and take my own exams.
At the Bible College, theology and Biblical studies were supposedly the domain of men like my father. Though women weren’t unwelcome intruders, they were foreigners from another planet.
Women belonged in clearly defined domestic roles, supporting their men who were doing the really important thinking and doing. If married women absolutely had to work outside the home, fine. Just don’t let it interfere with domestic duties.
At the Bible College, most men had no problem with women studying the Bible. Nonetheless, if women had questions about the Bible or theology, they should ask their husbands or their male pastors or professors. Why should they need to bother their pretty little heads with anything difficult or contentious?
As one of my theology professors at Bible College announced: “The next topic is for men; you women can ‘go pick daisies’ if you’d like.”
That didn’t mean we could leave the room; it meant we didn’t have to understand the next topic or take extensive notes about it. We could think about whatever we wished during the next half hour or so. It shouldn’t be of concern to us. The topic? The end of the world (Eschatology)!
When I was accepted into the MA in Bible and Theology, I was elated and terrified. Nine years had passed since I graduated from the Bible College. I was about 10 years older than many if not most other students in my courses. I was also the mother of two young children.
The stakes were high, no matter what I did or didn’t do with this degree. No wonder I was anxious and self-conscious. My life was about to change.
To be continued….
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 23 November 2015
Collage image thanks to http://www.fullermag.fuller.edu
November 18, 2015
Going to Seminary | Part 1
The Garth — meeting place, lunch plaza, outdoor office, place to hang out. The Library gleams at the far end. Not much has changed in The Garth since 1973.
It’s late spring 1973. I’ll turn 30 this year. After 8 years of marriage and nearly 5 years of motherhood, including 4 years as a Faculty Wife, I don’t know who I am!
How do I know this? Because I have to send a personal essay with my application, and I don’t know how to answer all the questions.
Other people don’t have a problem knowing who I am:
- D’s wife, Faculty Wife, part-time instructor of music and piano
- Hostess, mother of cute son and cute daughter
- Intelligent, laundress, caretaker, seamstress, cook, gardener, house cleaner and dish washer.
- Also graduate of the Bible College, Diane’s sister, and preacher’s kid.
Even if I figure out who I am, I still have to write an essay about MY goals, including MY vision for MY life beyond seminary!
My goals are simple: Get through one day at a time without too much drama, heartache, disappointment or quarreling. Did I write this in my essay? No.
My vision for my life beyond seminary is even more difficult. The easy answer: Follow D wherever he goes!
Not very original, I know, but I’m clueless. Furthermore, I don’t feel fire in my bones about anything in particular beyond the needs of today. Is that so bad?
I got through the getting-to-know-you questions. They were easy. Something about my family, my church, my education up to then, my hobbies and things like that.
But then came the biggie: Why do I want to go to Seminary?
What I actually said was something like this:
- I want to read and study, especially theology and the Bible.
True enough. It fit the pattern of my life so far.
What didn’t I say? It was also true. I thought it in my head, and I’m going to tell you right now what it was:
- My Bible College degree isn’t accredited. If I ever want to do further study beyond seminary, a degree from an accredited seminary would validate all academic work I’d completed up to then.
Brilliant, true and pragmatic! Like I said, though, I didn’t write this in my application.
Another question was also difficult. They wanted to know about major growth in my life in the last several years. I wrote a harmless surface answer that didn’t communicate much substance at all. Nevertheless, it was true.
More interesting is what I didn’t write. Here it is:
- I’ve grown in skills—the kind needed for being a mother, housewife and hostess.
- I’ve also grown in practical knowledge–the kind needed to care for sick babies and young children, and how to make homemade yogurt, jam or bread. Or stretch dollars to last as long as possible.
Then there was the spiritual growth question. Yes, I’d grown there, too. Mainly in my ability to be a servant, not a leader. I don’t look down on being a servant. It just means I’m there to help you be the best person you can be. Often without attention to my own preferences or needs.
One other tough question: When did you become a Christian? I don’t know. I grew up being one. I can’t tell you when, where or how it happened. I can’t remember how I finessed that one.
It’s a good thing they didn’t ask me what books I’d read recently. Would they count Dr. Seuss books? Babar the Elephant books? The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe? Dr. Spock? Adelle Davis?
Is there a point to this rambling? Yes!
We have a twofold mismatch here that happily became a match. I wasn’t the kind of student they were looking for, and they didn’t have a clue how to deal with women who were entering the seminary.
When I entered seminary in fall 1973, there were 500 students total. Of these, 30 were women.
To be continued….
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 17 November 2015
Photo thanks to Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena, California
November 17, 2015
Faculty Wife | Part 19 of 19
Today’s photos bid a fond farewell to my Faculty Wife series (fall 1969 through July 1973). Here’s our son in 1970, sound asleep shortly after we brought our daughter home from the hospital. D’s Mom gave him Big Bear, just after his sister was born. He was an instant hit. He and FuFu, hiding beneath Big Bear’s head, always understood and agree with our son, not with us.
Every now and then our daughter got to play with FuFu. Here she is in 1971, intent on getting into a doll bed with FuFu who has just fallen out. You can see FuFu is already wearing out from all the love. Note: I didn’t make or buy the ruffled dress. It was a gift.
In 1972 we traveled to Ft. Smith, Arkansas for a small family reunion with D’s Mom. It was held at her Dad’s home. Here’s a photo of the women and children who came: D’s great-aunt, his Mom, me, his sister, one of his aunts, our son and daughter. Four generations dressed in multiple fashions and hair styles. The three oldest women are now gone. D’s aunt is holding her camera.
That day we went to a park, and our son got to take a train ride with Grammy! Great fun for both, as you can see.
Now we’re back in South Carolina, in our back yard. It’s summer 1972 and unbearably hot. This calls for lots of picnics in the back yard in the late afternoon. Here’s our son taking a supper-snack break from playing outside.
Note the beautiful blue-flowered casual dining plate. Also the price of bread–4 loaves for $1.00! And don’t miss our teak-handled salad servers. A wedding gift. We still have them and I still use them. One more thing. I see our son has dirt in his elbow creases and generally all over himself. Possibly from the sand box in the back corner of the yard–which you can’t see. I don’t know what those pipes are on the ground; I think D was putting something together–perhaps the swing set.
It’s early summer 1973, our last summer in South Carolina. We’re down in Savannah for a last visit with my Mom and Dad. Of course we had to bid farewell to Tybee Beach. Always a hit! And always A-OK!
In July 1973 my parents, plus Diane and Clay with their first son arrive for a last visit before we move. Here we are, standing around in the front yard.
Short skirts are in! So are shift-like dresses. I made mine, as well as our daughter’s outfit. I’m certain Diane made hers. It’s shocking to realize that only 9 years earlier the Bible College wouldn’t allow women’s knees to show. Nor did they allow women to wear shorts or blue jeans.
Finally, for the record, someone (Diane? My Dad? D’s camera on a tripod?) took an informal family picture of us in the back yard. Was this a way of marking the welcome end of our cultural isolation from the rest of the world? Actually, D says we were already one hip family! I totally agree. California, here we come!
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 16 November 2015
Photo credit: DAFraser, and whoever took the last photo
November 16, 2015
Skipping and Dancing
This photo triggered a memory that included my Uncle Waldo and Aunt Leta. Uncle Waldo is the youngest and last remaining sibling in my father’s family.
He sent me this photo of his granddaughters Read the rest of this entry »
Telling the Truth 