Telling the Truth

connecting the dots of my life

Category: Marriage

October 16, 2017

Monday Morning Sunshine

We had a cool front come through during the night, with blessed relief from 100% humidity day and night, cool breezes, and the slightest hint of sun behind those clouds which will, of course, dissipate in their own good time.

Still, I want some Monday morning sunshine. So here it is, beginning at the top with one of my favorite taken-by-me photos of D, my loyal partner, at Longwood Gardens on the day of our 52nd wedding anniversary. Isn’t he gorgeous? So is that sunshine, I might add.

Coming in a close second is the second main male in my life right now–Prince Oliver Smudge the Second. He’s perched on one of his thrones, alert as ever, loyally watching over my first main male to make sure he doesn’t fall asleep in front of the computer. Also taken by me, this time with my mini IPad (instead of D’s fancy camera).

Next we have one of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes strips about the infamous Divide and Conquer Strategy. I debated using it for my last post, but decided it was too lighthearted for the subject matter. Still, it makes a great point, and the little stab at the end might help you keep your sanity and upbeat outlook at least alive, if not thriving.


Finally, a rousing rendition from Norman Blake in true Southern country music style, from the soundtrack of “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Sing along and don’t be bashful. It’s great fun!

Cheers!
Elouise♥

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 16 October 2017
Photos taken by ERFraser, 11 Sept 2017 and October 2017
Cartoon found at bloggingblue.com
Daily Prompt: Loyal

13 Comments
September 22, 2017

Happy Weekend Photos from Longwood

Have you ever seen leaves like those above? They’re in the sun garden just at the beginning of the flower walk. This time it’s all about late summer madness–a riot of color and texture and lush vegetation. No hiding. Just masses of color having their last fling before autumn begins in earnest.

Here’s the setting for the leaves shown above. I don’t know the name of the plant. All I know is that it thrives in the hot sun, and I could hardly tear my eyes away from the graceful folds and colors of the leaves.

Leaving this area we began the flower walk. Always the same basic color layout–cool colors on the first half, warmer colors on the second half, set off by a fountain in the middle, with a small detour to the right, overlooking a sunken garden. Today the golden warm colors reigned.

Here’s the central fountain, and a quick peek into the sunken garden. Don’t miss the chrysanthemums around the pond, getting ready for their turn to bloom.

Back on the flower walk now, here are several more gorgeous blossoms. We saw tons of dahlias, and various kinds of sunflowers. Below is a rare dahlia followed by an unusual sunflower and another dahlia. No, I did not take notes on names of flowers. I was too busy looking!

Time for a quick look at the late summer/early autumn meadow. It’s also decked out in yellow, orange and rusty colors. First a look as we came up over the crest and looked downhill from the forest toward the meadow. Then a look from above at one of several walking/hiking paths through the meadow. The sight was stunning–gold everywhere!

Next we have close-up shots that give more detail. The weather was warm, though there was a nice breeze and it wasn’t too humid. Just right.

 

Just to prove I was there….We took the central path up to the forest line, before walking around the perimeter toward the formal exit.


Here we are at the formal exit, looking back across the meadow to the old farm-house, now an historical museum.

Just putting this together was an exercise in craziness! D takes way too many gorgeous photos, don’t you think? Actually, putting this together was a relaxing, enjoyable way to end this week. Hoping you find beauty in small things this weekend.

Thanks for coming along!

Elouise♥

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 22 September 2017
Photos taken by DAFraser, 11 September 2017 at Longwood Gardens
Daily Prompt: Leaf

11 Comments
September 14, 2017

Thorny Matters and a Happy Update | Photos

Maybe I’m crazy to put these two things together, but they are what they are! In a nutshell, it’s all about Longwood Gardens and what’s happening these days.

Yes, we celebrated our 52nd wedding anniversary at Longwood Gardens! See D’s gorgeous shot above? Evidence that thorny isn’t always ugly. Even though marriage is sometimes like picking a rose and getting the thorns.

Then there are those flowers you just have to wonder about. Why there? And what’s all that fluffy stuff? I don’t have a clue. Do you?

It feels like I’ve been thinking forever about putting some of my favorite blog posts into an ebook or something like that. Sometimes I feel like a snail that isn’t going anywhere. But here’s evidence that if I wait long enough, the beauty, form and shape might suddenly come clear–in a burst of sunlight in the late afternoon. Yes, it’s a Mexican Century Plant. Can you see the beautiful patterns on the back of the sword-leaves?

On another bright note, sometime over the last weekend, I passed two markers: 1000 posts and 1000 followers! I’ve decided that calls for at least two more walks in the meadow. One right here with you so I can show off more of D’s gorgeous photos from Monday’s visit, and another visit to Longwood before we lose this early fall weather. Here’s the only thorny thistle photo I could find from Monday’s meadow walk.

And here are a few last thorny/spiny beauties from inside the Conservatory.

With many thanks for your visits, likes and dislikes, comments, questions and generosity of time. I never guessed I’d love writing so much. Weird, because as an academic I’ve written all my life. But never like this–from my heart to your hearts, as truthfully as I’m able.

Elouise ♥

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 14 September 2017
Photos taken by DAFraser at Longwood Gardens, 11 September 2017
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Thorny

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September 13, 2017

Old photos never die

They just fade away….

One moment captured forever
silent witness to hopes and dreams
never realized

This is my parents’ formal wedding portrait taken 75 years ago today, 13 September 1942 in Charlotte, North Carolina.

shattered lives
fall apart unplanned
two people bound to each other

I often wonder how my parents felt when they looked back at this lovely photo. They look happy, wealthy (they were not), supremely ready for whatever came next (they were not).

Within months, my father was diagnosed with tuberculosis and put into a sanatorium full of other TB patients. If he wanted to get well, he had to remain bed-bound for months, visitors strictly limited and regulated. If he didn’t keep the rules, all bets were off. His roommate couldn’t take the pressure of lying there. He died of TB. My father took a lesson from him and lay there, resolved.

In the meantime, I was born in November 1943, several months after my father went off to live in the sanatorium. He came home when I was 10 months old. A stranger to me, as I was to him. I was not the son he wanted.

My mother walked to the hospital when she went into labor, and then cared for me with the help of a family in the portrait above. We were living in their house at that time. The Hancox family included Mom’s maid of honor (“Aunt” Wyn), her flower girl (Wyn’s only child), and the man who gave Mom away, “Uncle” Ed. He’s standing just behind Mom and Aunt Wyn.

My maternal grandfather did not approve of this marriage and chose not to attend. He lived in California. I don’t remember the name of the man who served as my father’s best man.

My parents married with the blessing of a mission agency that would, if all went well, send them to Africa. While out speaking on behalf of this agency, my father came down with TB, which put in jeopardy the great plan to go to Africa. Five years and three babies later, my mother contracted polio–most likely from our new sister who was only 6 months old.

That was the end of being missionaries. I don’t think it was the end of mother’s world. She had her hands full.

It was, however, the end of my father’s hope of being somebody who mattered, especially in the church. He grieved this missed opportunity all his life. Which isn’t to say he would have made an outstanding missionary.

My mother, a polio survivor, musician and committed extrovert, did her best to care for four daughters in near-poverty circumstances. When it came to talking about regrets, she would have none of it, even though she lived with constant physical pain.

I love looking at the photo above. It shows my parents at their best. Looking out, as we all do, on what we hope will be a bright tomorrow. I’m grateful to have this marker of their happiness.

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 13 September 2017
My Parents’ formal wedding portrait, 13 September 1942
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Penchant

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September 9, 2017

Considering Loss on the Eve of Our Wedding Anniversary

Wedding Day, 11 September 1965
11 September 1965

Fear of loneliness
Drifts in and out unbidden

Heavy eyelids droop
Head hangs low over keyboard

Tangled thoughts intrude
Try to distract me as though
I were the intruder

I am not.

Pulling myself together
I rouse myself to the occasion
Reaching for stars and light
I do not own.

What if he dies first?
What if I die first?

I don’t know.

So what do I know?
Only this –
That if he dies first, I will grieve.

And what will be the shape of that grief?
A hole that stretches from here to eternity
An unreachable planet long ago and faraway
A place I can no longer visit
An ocean of heaving sobs
Seaweeds of bitter regret and sweet longing
Washing up on the shore of each long day and night

On Monday David and I will celebrate our 52nd wedding anniversary. I thought I knew a thing or two about love the day we married. I did not. Nor will I know all about love the day one of us dies.

The older I get, the more precious each day becomes. I remember dreading retirement. Not simply because I would miss my colleagues and students, but because I would be spending much more time with D. More than I’d spent with him most of our married life.

Could we live with each other in the same house, including the same kitchen, every day? Would we get bored out of our gourds without deadlines and meetings and endless reports? Would one of us decide to find a part-time job just to get away from it all?

Happily, we’ve survived so far, including Kitchen Wars. But that would be another story.

I’ve had death on my mind in the last weeks, given events here and around the world. Death is about more than statistics, more than a moving memorial service, more than a huge display of candles and flowers. More than a gut-wrenching news story of the moment.

Somewhere, each moment of every day, someone is grieving. I want to honor the value of just one person’s life and the value of grief. The kind that can soften us, making us more human than we were before.

It looks like Monday, our anniversary day, will be a beautiful Longwood Garden day. Maybe another walk in the Meadow? We’ll see.

Thanks for reading!
Elouise♥

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 9 September 2017
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Overcome

23 Comments
August 7, 2017

Mid-Summer at Chanticleer | Photos

A week ago D and I drove over to Chanticleer Gardens for a late afternoon stroll. Not a quick walk, but a stroll. An amble. A creep-along marathon of nonstop mid-summer beauty.

Here are some favorite up-close photos.


Unlike Longwood Gardens, Chanticleer has small, laid back elegance. Lawn chairs, picnic tables, rocking chairs and quiet spaces invite visitors to take their time exploring delightful nooks and crannies and whimsical garden architecture. Or read a book and take a nap on the grass.

And my final five!

One more extra feature–a map you can use when you come to visit!


For more information about Chanticleer, click here.

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 7 August 2017
Photos taken by DAFraser, July 2017
Chanticleer Gardens
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Amble

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August 4, 2017

Could I have this dance…?

I can’t get this song out of my mind. It reminds me of my first sabbatical leave when I was teaching at the seminary. It was the late 1980s.

My father absolutely forbade dancing in our family. The devil’s tool! Intended to lead young men and young women astray. Another way for saying dancing was all about sex.

As was the ‘worldly’ music and carousing that, of course, accompanied all such worldly pleasure. No matter that God created these bodies of ours with their sometimes strange yet enticing urges.

Of course I didn’t understand all that back then. I just knew dancing was forbidden. My father made a small exception when I had square-dancing lessons in junior high. But that’s another story. More embarrassing than not being allowed to dance at all.

So, back to my first sabbatical. Of course I did the obligatory research and writing, etc. But that wasn’t enough for my rest and fun-starved spirit and body. If I couldn’t go overseas somewhere, I could go to another strange and foreign land. The land called Arthur Murray Dance Studios!

It was sheer heaven on earth. I continued with lessons for well over a year, captivated by how much my body and my spirit loved to move to music. And still does.

So here’s my pick for today, one of my favorite songs that invites me into that magical space. In honor of my partner of over 50 years who has stumbled and floated along with me and helped pick me up from the floor more times than I can count.

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 4 August 2017
Image found at pix11.com
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Partner

4 Comments
July 29, 2017

Sabbath Rest Memories | Photos

It’s Summer 2016. In early April I got my pacemaker (Lucy); two weeks later I broke my jaw and had my teeth wired for 4-5 weeks. The idea of going on the cruise we’d already planned seemed crazy. But it wasn’t. My main activity during the cruise was resting, sleeping, and eating soft food! In other words, it was, for me, a huge Sabbath Rest. 

One year ago D and I, with our daughter and son-in-law enjoyed a huge once-in-a-lifetime cruise down the Rhine, Main and Danube Rivers. Here are random favorites that depict the heart, if not the full reality of Sabbath rest. The ducks at the top are showing how it’s done. We spotted them at Kinderdijk. The photos below were taken on the way to Cologne and in one of the parks there.

For starters, here’s a photo of me sound asleep, doing Nothing.
Just looking at this makes me go all limp.
And what about those snazzy socks!

Here are some rather limp cattle we passed along the way.
They didn’t even look up or ask what we were doing!
Just kept napping, chewing their cud, and chilling out.

Not to be outdone by cattle,
this water fowl family is getting into the spirit of things, too.
Doing mostly nothing but enjoying an outing together.

And here’s a young couple also doing nothing
but resting and enjoying this beautiful view of the river.
I wonder who they are?

Here they are again!
We saw them quite often during the cruise.
They smiled a lot. Definitely a sign of Sabbath joy.

Well look at that!
This Sabbath rest thing seems to be popular with everyone.
Especially when it means enjoying nature.

Here’s our trusty photographer, aka D,
taking a picture of himself in front of a reflective screen.
He’s enjoying relaxed time in his very relaxed outfit!
You don’t have to dress up for Sabbath rest, you know.

Nearby was this calm bunny taking great joy in a favorite snack!

There’s that good-looking couple again!
They look like they’re enjoying each other and nature and
a complete break from their normal busy, creative lives.
Just as I’m trying to do right now.

You might say nature enjoys Sabbath every day.
But sometimes it outdoes itself with beauty. Natural beauty.
This looks like Sabbath-day best to me.

And this little bee is having the feast of a lifetime.
You might say its cup is running over with joy and delight.

Back on the cruise ship, D got this evening shot of
the Cologne Cathedral, spires pointing upwards.
A silent reminder of the source of our life, our rest and our joy.

Blessings of peace and rest to each of you.
Elouise ♥

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 29 July 2017, reposted on 6 August 2022
Photos taken by DAFraser, Summer 2016 Viking Cruise

15 Comments
July 3, 2017

one split second

One split second frozen in time captures my eyes.

***

This is a shout-out of gratitude to my dear husband who captures so many stunning photos. No matter where we are. No matter how much time it takes. No hurry. No worry. I sit in the shade, relaxing, or walk around and then come back, knowing his attention to detail will be rewarded.

Not every photo is picture perfect. But then there are the others, waiting to be discovered. This is one of the standouts.

D took this last week on our visit to Longwood Gardens. For me, the payoff comes in photos like this.  They evoke wonder, and invite me to ponder life from a different angle.

They also remind me of our many trips together through life. Memories captured and resurrected each time I return for a look-see. Or post them right here for you.

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 3 July 2017
Photo taken by DAFraser, 27 June 2017
Longwood Gardens Lily Pond, Kennet Square, Pennsylvania

Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Dash

11 Comments
June 29, 2017

More Sunny Day Photos at Longwood

We’re back today at Longwood Gardens, on ground level just in front of the main fountains’ reconstructed home on the right. To the left are formal gardens with their own fountains. Note the lovely boulevard with sturdy benches, and trees that project a leafy art show on the ground below.

The front of the main building is lined with decorative urns,
young dwarf papyrus plants and small ornate fountains.

We walked down the side path toward the conservatory.
Here’s a look back from the top of the stairs.

D took the photo below from the conservatory plaza at about 3:30pm.
It gives a sense of the immensity of this project.
Don’t miss the bell tower in the distance.

Below are two photos D took in June 2015 from the conservatory plaza.
The project was well under way.
It’s hard to believe this (below) became that (above).

Below you can see what the Fountain Garden looked like in August 2006.
Visitors weren’t allowed up near the main fountains, and
the old decorative containers and sculptures were in sad shape.
Most foot traffic went around the edges beneath trimmed trees,
though visitors could sit on the lawn during special events
such as the annual 4th of July fireworks and fountains show.

After visiting other gardens, we walked back through the Fountain Garden.
It was nearly 5:00 pm. Here are several last, lovely looks.



Thanks for stopping by!

©Elouise Renich Fraser, 29 June 2017
Photos taken by DAFraser, 27 June 2017, August 2006 and June 2015
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Sunny

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