Telling the Truth

connecting the dots of my life

Tag: Broken Jaw

Sabbath for My Body


Dear Friends,

It’s been a while since I wrote about Sabbath Rest. I’m learning the hard way that this isn’t just one day a week. It all began a year ago, in April 2016, and now includes a new health challenge I found out about this month.

On April 6, 2016, I received my spectacular pacemaker, Lucy. She’s now one year old, and has demonstrably changed my life for the better. Lucy is my upbeat (!) silent, invisible champion. She’s on call 24/7, making sure my heart rate doesn’t wander below 60 beats a minute. No more fainting spells.

Then, on April 21, 2016, my first day out alone with Lucy, I tripped on uneven pavement and fractured my jaw. Full stop.

Things will never be the same in my mouth. Wired jaws, lessons in how to use my Vitamix, pain and agony, sheer exhaustion as night became day and day became night. No description can capture it. I thought it would never end.

It’s still difficult to form some words. Still, most of the pain is gone and I’ve regained significant lateral movement in my lower jaw, though my bite will never be the same.

My broken jaw pushed me over the cliff into adrenal fatigue. Thanks to my integrative doctor, I now have a regular pattern each day and night. That means I have energy most mornings, and am ready to sleep most nights. No more erratic nighttime insomnia, or falling asleep in the middle of eating during the day.

Regular rest stops are my new normal. This means putting my feet up, taking short naps, and meditating as needed during each day. I want to stay grounded in what really matters.

Then about 2 weeks ago my doctor confirmed a new challenge: Chronic Kidney Disease, Stage 3a of 5 stages. This came with little warning; my emotions have been all over the map. I’ve had several tests this past week to measure the extent of the damage.

Just for today I want you to know what’s happening. I’ve talked about end of life matters several times this year. The Shape of Forgiveness series was one such issue. So is this.

Are end of life issues my present calling in life? I don’t know. I do know that today, tomorrow and thereafter every part of me is invited into Sabbath Rest. Even though it may not always feel restful or inviting.

Praying you’ll find rest for yourselves each day of this coming week, beginning now. Blessings of inner peace in these troubled times.
Elouise

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 22 April 2017
Photo found at kellyjohnsongracenotes.com

Shrink not from pain

shrink not from pain
nor overlook it–
truth lies within

***

a proverb for today
generated in my mind
while on a therapy table
pondering realities
aligned for consideration
tutors for tomorrow

***

Today I temporarily ended 4 months of physical therapy for my broken jaw. I graduated – sort of! I’ll miss the moist heat wrap placed around my neck and jaw for 15 or 20 minutes right when I get there. Just picture me lying there on my back, pillows beneath my head and a wedge under my knees, totally relaxed. Heavenly!

The proverb-like haiku at the top came to mind this morning while I was basking in the heat wrap. I was thinking about the past year. Especially my broken jaw experience and the pain of the presidential race and transition.

I shared the haiku with my gifted therapist. She was back from the Washington, DC Women’s March, so I got her first-hand impressions. Fabulous. I felt sad I wasn’t there, but delighted she walked 12 miles on Saturday and I did not!

Though pain isn’t the major theme of my life, it’s a minor theme. Not to be dismissed or ignored.

Truth and pain are strangely intermingled. I don’t want to miss the truth about myself and my situation that may be revealed in this presidential transition. There’s an opportunity here if I’m willing to listen to it, explore it, and learn to live into it instead of hoping this will all be a dream that ‘flies forgotten at the break of day.’

It’s easy for me to see how others need to change. I wonder how I need to change, given all that has come to stay.

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 23 January 2017
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Oversight

My Underground Ally

tongue-posture

The very first exercise my physical therapist assigned me was simple. Keep your tongue on the roof of your mouth at all times, except when you’re eating, talking or swallowing. Who would have thought this small change would produce a moment of enlightenment?

Well, it did. That’s because I’m also learning to notice when my tongue wanders from its designated parking space. Here’s how it happened. Read the rest of this entry »

The Waiting Room

waiting_room3

Body parts visible and invisible
Come and go like clockwork
Silently seek relief
My eyes wander
Linger on each bundle of hope
Dreaming of a better tomorrow –
The way things used to be

Tomorrow morning, Wednesday, I’ll be back in the waiting room Read the rest of this entry »

I love my Physical Therapist!

Partial face of a young woman wearing vintage glasses and blancing four books and an apple on her head

I love my Physical Therapist! Only six sessions with her so far, two per week, and I already feel the difference. Muscles in my upper back, neck, head and mouth have begun to relax, instead of Read the rest of this entry »