Healing | Telling the Truth

August 18, 2014

God’s Beloved Daughter-Child | Part 4 of 4

I can’t hide from that all-seeing eye of God watching me day and night to make sure I’m being a good little girl. It follows me through life. Not an eye of Goodness and Mercy, but of Judgment and Contempt.

I’m lost
It’s the 1980s. I’m 40-something. I claim I’m a follower of Jesus Christ. Yet I’m lost in fear, self-contempt, confusion, a judgmental spirit, and the vain belief that I can fix other people’s lives. If only they would just listen to me! Read the rest of this entry »

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August 11, 2014

God’s Beloved Daughter-Child | Part 3 of 4

I haven’t always called myself God’s beloved daughter-child. For years I wouldn’t have dared presume such a high-minded view of myself. How did this happen? And how might this help me think about what I believed when I was 11 years old?

This post is about the first question: How did this happen? The second will wait. Thanks for being patient. If I don’t address today’s topic first, I’ll end up picking my childhood theology to pieces. Read the rest of this entry »

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July 25, 2014

How can I say thanks? | Dear Diane, . . .

Diane, Sister #3, died in February 2006 after living 10 years with ALS. From October 1997 until September 2000 Diane wrote short pieces she called Words for the Ones I Love. Most are about her relationship to the local church she served for 7 years as Minister of Education/Administration. She took disability retirement in May 1996.

The pieces are not confidential. Diane gave me permission to use or publish them as I saw fit. In fact, she liked the idea that her words might be read by more than her family and friends. I’m excited to begin letting you see a bit more about her and the ways our lives connected. Perhaps she’ll connect with you, too. Read the rest of this entry »

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July 23, 2014

song birds caroling

sun breaking through mist-drenched air

dropping dew drumming

* * * * *

A mini rain-forest

reverberating voices

shimmering light-rays and Read the rest of this entry »

July 16, 2014

light-hearted gusts

light-hearted gusts send

brilliant cotton clouds tumbling

across sea-blue sky

* * * * *

the storm

passed last night

today’s air is clean, strong, heady Read the rest of this entry »

July 11, 2014

Starving for Sisterly Conversation | Part 3 of 3

January 9, 1996, 9:00pm, Philadelphia
The phone rings. Hi. It’s Diane. I’m not well – no easy way to tell you – not post-polio, but ALS – I’m going to need help, a lot of help. I hang up and go downstairs, weeping as I tell my family the news.

January 30, 1996, late afternoon, Houston
I walk off the plane and see Diane standing in front of a pillar. Small floral print on navy dress, empire waist and smocked bodice – ivory stockings – very pretty – gold chains – hair highlights in blond – stoop-shouldered and slow. Read the rest of this entry »

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July 7, 2014

Starving for Sisterly Conversation | Part 2 of 3

The last line of the dream names my hunger: “She seems lonely for someone to talk with about real life.” Other parts of the dream identify behaviors I might want to leave behind, and a few unexpected personal capacities and resources. This post focuses on my hunger, and describes how things begin falling apart. Read the rest of this entry »

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July 4, 2014

Starving for Sisterly Conversation | Part 1 of 3

Hunger. A fierce, relentless presence. Sometimes for food when I was a child, later for sisterly conversation. Not friendly polite talk, but safe, open, honest two-way conversation about our fears, agonies and dreams as we were growing up in the 1950s.

It wasn’t that we consciously chose not to talk with each other as sisters; it just wasn’t safe. Besides, back then I wasn’t aware of being hungry for this. I focused instead on staying out of trouble. Sadly, I didn’t pull that off very well. Read the rest of this entry »