Telling the Truth

connecting the dots of my life

Tag: Relationships

The Dean and I | Part 13 of 13

Labor Room 1960s

Labor Ward, 1960s
No Men Allowed!

One more story and we’re there! We just left the restaurant where we gorged ourselves in honor of Baby’s imminent birth. That was one day before the official due date. It didn’t take long. Read the rest of this entry »

strangers

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trembling
eyes meet
breathless Read the rest of this entry »

The Dean and I | Part 11

Griswold Letter to ERF

Do words in old letters ever die? Here’s Mr. Griswold’s thank-you letter about my work in the dean’s office at Harvard Law School. Click on the letter to enlarge it.

When it arrived in 1967, I showed it to David and put it away. Our first baby was almost ready to be delivered. Besides, Read the rest of this entry »

The Dean and I | Part 5

Oasis_in_Libya, Wikimedia.org

Oasis in Libya

I can’t believe how much I’m enjoying this series! I thought it would be over and done with by now. But my mind keeps remembering things I want to tell you about.

Working for Mr. Griswold was an incredibly positive experience during the early years of our marriage. For me, it was a milestone.

I wasn’t yet 25 years old. In some ways, my experience with Mr. Griswold is similar to my experience with Mrs. Hanks, my piano teacher from age 9 through 16. Both knew and accepted me just as I was, yet didn’t leave me there.

As for Mr. Griswold, here’s a man I can trust! That’s so big I could just stop right here and cry my eyes out. They’re already tearing up.

It isn’t about his age or how he looks, or even who he is and what he does. It’s that he’s the exact opposite of my First Boss. I’ve gone from the worst boss I ever had to the best boss I ever had! What are the chances of that happening?

Back then I didn’t know he was my best boss ever. But now, decades later, looking back at the mostly male bosses I’ve worked for and with, Mr. Griswold stands at the top of the list.

Mr. Griswold helped me become the person I am. He wasn’t the only boss who did that. Still, when it comes to integrity, excellence, humanity and trustworthiness, he was the Best.

I didn’t know back then that I’d end up becoming an educator—a professor, and then a dean. I would have laughed in your face if you’d suggested this possibility. Crazy! Yet I clearly absorbed something that carried over a bit from those years of working in Mr. Griswold’s office.

Being on his team wasn’t always easy. The workload was constant. I didn’t sit around twiddling my thumbs, wondering what I might do next.

At the same time, I never felt I was doing it all by myself, without adequate support, or without genuine affirmation from Mr. Griswold. He and my coworkers knew what I was doing and the value of my work. Just as I knew what they were doing and the value of their work.

This was a huge gift. It grew me up as an employee. It’s the point at which I came of age. An adult. Responsible and mature, even though I didn’t always feel I was.

This job also gave me a point of reference. I didn’t read about this in a book. I experienced it for myself! It wasn’t just pie in the sky by and by. It was evidence that a workplace could be life-giving instead of death-dealing.

I’m not saying it was heaven every day. It wasn’t. Sometimes we were stressed out by unexpected circumstances or by unexpected personality issues. Yet I never felt a co-worker was after me, or anything less than happy to have me on the team.

The last point I want to comment on is this. I wasn’t simply a new employee; I was a new wife. Just married! And also, by the way, in a brand new to me location, culture, city, academic community, church, you name it. It was NEW. Heavenly and hellish. Both at the same time.

I’ll say more about early marriage in later posts. Right now I just want to say this: Working in the dean’s office of the Harvard Law School was like finding an unexpected oasis in the middle of a sometimes vast and lonely desert.

When I arrived at work in the morning, coworkers knew my name, what I did, and how to interact with me. It didn’t happen overnight; but it happened quickly.

I needed that oasis. That safe place ‘where everybody knows my name.’ Cheers!

To be continued. . . .

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 6 April 2015
Photo from Wikimedia.org

The Dean and I | Part 4

FRASER_S_0330President Nathan M. Pusey and Dean Erwin N. Griswold
Harvard Law School Commencement, 1967

Who is Erwin N. Griswold? Click here for a summary of his life and service. Big things. Important things. For me, the little things made all the difference. Here are several small, telling memories. Read the rest of this entry »

The Dean and I | Part 2

Dean's Office Langdell 2,1965

Mr. Griswold’s office, 1965

A grandfatherly looking gentleman opens his office door and comes out to greet me. He’s wearing a plain dark gray suit and a tie. He has graying hair and a serious yet friendly face. I like his unassuming demeanor. This is not what I expected. Read the rest of this entry »

I want to be a meadow garden

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Meadow Garden at Longwood

It wasn’t an evening sky that started it. It was waking up in the morning, thinking about a wonderful conversation we had recently with a friend from our seminary days.

I teared up a bit, thinking about how much had changed since the 1970s, Read the rest of this entry »

An Offensive Story | Part 3 of 3

Sodom is gone. Lot is still alive in Zoar, but afraid. He leaves Zoar, taking his daughters with him, and heads for the hills. They end up living in cave. This is the last time Lot takes any initiative in this story (Genesis 19).

Lot’s unmarried daughters now have a problem. Read the rest of this entry »

An Offensive Story | Part 1

Scandalous. Painful to read and painful to hear. The story is about Lot, his two virgin daughters, two visitors (strangers), an unruly mob of men, and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Read the rest of this entry »

White and Female

I used to think I only had to deal with being born female; being white was just an accident. I wrote this piece in the mid 1990s. I’ve grown since then, yet the issues named here are alive and well where I live. I’ve reformatted and edited it lightly so it’s easy to read.

* * * * *

My family is white. Read the rest of this entry »